Internal Family Systems from a mindfulness therapists’ view

In the world of therapy, the practice of mindfulness is a powerful tool. But when combined with Internal Family Systems (IFS), a ground-breaking therapeutic technique, it becomes a profound journey of self-discovery and healing. Together, the mindfulness therapist and IFS offer a unique approach to uncovering the controversial wants and needs hidden within our complex personalities.

Understanding Internal Family Systems

Our personalities are not monolithic entities; rather, they resemble a complex family living within us. Imagine this internal family as consisting of a teenager, parents, and a toddler. Often, our internal parental figure takes the lead, attempting to govern and suppress the teenager's voice. We stifle the youthful exuberance, relegating it to a corner. But life has a way of throwing curveballs, and the teenager eventually breaks free, often at the least opportune moments.

In a conflict or relationship turmoil, this unleashed teenager may act out in immature and unhelpful ways, further fuelling the parental determination to silence them. It's a cycle that can seem inescapable, leaving us feeling torn and fragmented.

The Power of IFS and Mindfulness

This is where the mindfulness therapist, in conjunction with Internal Family Systems therapy, steps in. By creating a safe space for the teenager within us, they invite the unspoken needs and emotions to surface. When the teenager's feelings are acknowledged and expressed without judgment, they mature, and the escalation of emotions becomes more manageable.

By allowing the teenager to grow up in a therapeutic environment, we spare ourselves from acting out in our daily lives. It's a transformation from inner chaos to inner harmony. However, the first step is to stop the parental figures from repressing the teenager during therapy. It's essential to remember that this intervention occurs within the context of therapy, where the therapist serves as a guiding force.

The Deeper Journey: Healing the Lost Son

Going even deeper into the world of Internal Family Systems, we encounter the concept of the "lost son." This lost part of ourselves may have experienced overwhelming trauma, causing it to flee from the family within. In real life, this escape could manifest as addictions, whether to substances, food, or even sex, all serving as distractions to avoid facing the unresolved pain.

In therapy, the mindfulness therapist with IFS can help the parental figures understand that they have the strength and support to search for the lost son. It's a profound moment when the parent within us drops their guard, paving the way for locating the part of ourselves that once ran away.

Healing the Lost Son: Releasing Emotional Tumours

As we reconnect with the lost son within us, we discover the emotions and traumas that have been festering within, much like a hidden tumour. Through mindfulness and the IFS process, we gently unearth and release these long-held feelings. By healing the isolated part of ourselves, we allow it to mature and integrate into our personality.

Conclusion

The combination of a mindfulness therapist and Internal Family Systems is a powerful approach to understanding and healing the complex dynamics within us. By listening to the various voices of our internal family, we reduce inner conflicts and find a more profound sense of peace. As we heal the lost parts within us, we create the opportunity for personal growth, maturity, and becoming friends with ourselves.